Doubtful. I think I didn't really want to ruin an amazing two weeks with a petty blog post. I know that it sounds cliché, but writing about it just seems to cheapen it.
That said, I want to create a written and visual memory of our time together and how much it meant to me. And let's be honest. Given that this blog is all about me, I just want to brag about all of the awesome places we went. Let it never be said that I am not honest.
If you have been reading my blog for awhile now, you already know the Barker Family Vacation Requirements. If you are new to my blog, you need to know the previously mentioned requirements. There will be a quiz later.
1. No technology allowed. No cell phones, no internet, no tv even. Okay, except maybe our Kindles. Because they have books on them. But no wifi.
2. Only Barkers who live together in Portland, OR are allowed to come. No friends, no extended family, no random hitchhikers. If we happen to be in town, we can visit friends (which we did) but no one else gets to come along.
So now you know the requirements. Let's get on with the good stuff. What the hell did we do, especially considering I was on modified activity?
First, we made a short pit stop near the John Day dam, where we camped for free next to the Columbia River and I read Hazel "Ramona, age 8" (her first chapter book) on the Kindle.
Then, I did nothing while Barkernews unloaded the car, made dinner and entertained the kid. There are some benefits to modified activity:
The next day, we headed to Pendleton and the best public water park in Oregon. OMG, that place is rad. The week before we left for vacation, my doctor cleared me to swim "easy laps". The water park had an outdoor 50m pool. While Barkernews and Hazel played in the zero-entry kids' pool and waterslides, I was enjoying some actual movement! And exercise! Outside!
It was fab.
The next night saw us at Jubilee Lake, where Hazel demonstrated her love for corn on the cob:
And I worked on piloting the HMS Titanic. Barbie is my first mate:
It's hard to get a picture of the two of us, but this works nicely:
Finally, we headed to Wallowa Lake and Joseph. Joseph was just starting their week-long Chief Joseph Days celebration and we had a nice seat for the action. Chief Joseph Days starts with a "stampede" down Main Street of the horses and cowboys. Now, I don't know about you, but when I think of a stampede, I think of lots and lots of horses running very fast and cowboys galloping after them, frantic and harried.
I mean, that's what a stampede is, right?
Wrong. The Chief Joseph Days Stampede consists of about 20 horses walking sedately down Main Street and a couple of cowboys waving and grinning at the crowd. For about 20 seconds.
For that, we waited 20 minutes.
It was worth it. I just had to temper my expectations a little bit. It seems that my upbringing in the suburbs prepared me not at all for rodeo life.
We had a week at Wallowa Lake and we intended to take advantage of it. On Wednesday, we rented a fishing boat and headed out to explore the lake. Lo and behold, we found ourselves motoring up to our own private floating dock! Wow, unicorns DO exist!
The county maintains 5 floating docks on the lake. They are all first come, first served and as you can imagine, they can be difficult to come by during the height of the summer tourist season. Apparently, our number was up and we got lucky. We spent one magical day on our very own dock (which we did eventually share with a kayaking family of four), swimming, relaxing, and fishing.
Yes, Virginia, there IS a Santa Claus.
And, because it was Chief Joseph Days, we HAD to go to the rodeo. Hazel liked the mutton-busting best. She asked if she could ride a sheep.
Uh, NO NO NO, a thousand times NO. Those kids got completely thrown around. We'll stick to skiing and bike riding, thank you.
Barkernews had crazy eyes after watching the bull-riding. Gore gets his EMT-self all excited.
One of the cool things about the Wallowas is the tramway to the top of a nearby mountain. Granted, it would be cooler if it ran in winter and you could ski down. But it doesn't and so we make do with summer views, which are just as good. Hazel made sure to read every interpretive sign to us:
"And then a princess came. And there were mountains. And the princess needed a frog."
And on and on and on.
She is much more entertaining than any old ranger.
This is Barkernews. He rode his bike a lot to many, many beautiful places. I was jealous, but I was under doctor's orders.
After seven straight nights of camping, we went to Baker City for a weekend respite. We stayed here and I cannot rave about it enough. From the huge backyard with swing set and sandbox for Hazel (she thought she was in heaven- she did NOT want to leave) to the to-die-for German pancakes for breakfasts, it was the perfect break. Barkernews rode his bike some more and I celebrated my birthday, though Hazel apparently thought MY birthday was all about her:
We also rode the steam train to Sumpter, an old mining dredge. I could have walked faster, but it's all about the experience, right?
From Baker City, we headed to Owyhee Lake, where we had a date with a teepee. It was HOT. Like, really, really hot. If we weren't in the lake or near the lake, we were suffering. Luckily, the lake was 79 degrees- a perfect temperature to hang out in all day. Unluckily, it was too hot for Barkernews to ride.
Also, we had a teepee!
We did end up leaving Owyhee one day early, due to the heat, but we were grateful to have gone. The canyon reminded us of Utah- tall red and orange cliffs rising from the lake and completely remote. It was pretty rad to go to this "hidden" corner of Oregon and experience a place most of our friends have never even heard of.
Barkernews models his style: Bimart swim shorts, thrift store shirt, "found" aviator glasses. Can you say HOT?
Barkernews and Hazel spent much of their time at Owyhee fishing. Lots of bass were caught...by Barkernews. Not so much by Hazel.
On the way to our next destination, we stopped outside Prairie City, where Hazel and I imagined ourselves as Oregon Trail pioneers. Don't we look the part?
Our trusty steed took us to Magone Lake, outside John Day (the town). We spent two lovely days, paddling the HMS Titanic, jumping off logs in to the lake and, as is our way, having campfires and s'mores every night. We didn't shower because who needs to shower on vacation anyway?
On the way to Bend on Friday, we stopped at the John Day Fossil Beds and observed the Painted Hills. For those of you who think it would be So Much Fun to be a member of our family, you should note that this is where Hazel chose to throw a fairly large tantrum and generally be a pain in the ass. Because she's three. Notice she is NOT smiling in the picture below.
We went to Bend and parked ourselves at Craig and Katie's house for the night because a)the next day was Hazel's birthday and b)Hazel loves loves LOVES Craig and Katie's house. Craig wasn't around, but Katie was and she treated us to s'mores (10 nights of s'mores and counting) around their new fire pit.
The next day we woke up and our Pinkalicious princess turned 4. Crazy. She promptly opened her gifts and was delighted to find a pink crown and wand.
Given our lifestyle (and lack of tolerance for prissy girls), I never thought we would end up with a girl who is so obsessed with pink, princesses, and ballet. And, if you had asked me five years ago if I thought I would have such a girly-girl, I would have said, "IMPOSSIBLE".
But look what we got. A pink, princess-obsessed skier, cyclist, runner, swimmer, camper, rock-climber and yes, ballet dancer.
Happy Birthday, Hizz. You can be as pink as you want, for as long as you want.
In celebration of the coolest 4-year-old on the planet's birthday, we floated the Deschutes River. As you can tell, she was the princess of the river. Duh.
And that was that. After two weeks on the road, eleven nights of camping, two birthdays, and a very dirty truck, we made it back home where we opened our computers, turned on our smart phones and yes, maybe even watched a little Angelina Ballerina.
I am already plotting for next year. California? Idaho again? Maybe back to Stehekin?
Whatever it is, we will have to follow the two requirements for Barker Family Vacation. This is your quiz! Quick! What are the two requirements?
Ah...you pass. I guess. See you next summer.
